oooh i cant believe the day before yesterday was so bad..as in i cant believe i was actually down, but im glad im better now. i love all my friends that have been there la, like shawny,viv, sal and eli. u guys really are darlings and i love ya all for the things you say. and of course my darlinggg sister Popo!!hahahahah mwahahah. breakups suck but i guess time heals all wounds.

i'm in the midst of reading this realllyyyy good book, "The Last Don" by Mario Puzo. its excellent. i'm so drawn in to their lives, the writing, the people, their story. and there was this one particular passage i read today that just got me thinking abit.

'for the first time she did not want to remain friends at the end of an affair. What really bothered her was her lack of intelligence. It was obvious that all his behaviour was a trick to make her go away, that it had taken her too long to get the hint. It was mortifying.How could she have been so dumb?She wept, but in a week she found she did not miss being in love at all. Her time was her own and she could work. It was a pleasure to get back to her writing with a head clear of cocaine and true love.' -mario puzo

mannn. i mean i just relate a bit to it, but at the same time, alot to it. i guess at first i didnt doubt what we had, but the way he's just let go makes me question it, and i dont like the answers i come up with.

i dont understand how love can turn to hate..i wish that people would realise that when it ends, it doesnt have to get sour, cos that just prevents us from getting closure.

cos i think we all really need closure.

oh well. this sucks but i keep telling myself that if he can do this, AGAIN, after pleading his heart out for me to give him another chance after i came back from aussie, then what the hell, i guess i just have to keep remembering that if he cared, he wouldnt hurt me like this right?

i cant believe it man..i went to aussie to clear my head and i came back happy..ready to move on with the next part of my life, and then he had that accident and he kept calling and telling me that he'd change and AGAINST MY BETTER JUDGEMENT i decided to give it a go. and it all happenes again, like a vicious cycle that never stops.

whats that saying? a leopard doesnt change it's spots? oh yes,i believe now.

i want contact.
after two years, is that too much to ask?

Labels: how long are we talking about?

you know..i guess ive been partially blocking it out, and mostly too busy with work, but its finally starting to hurt abit. and all tho i dont want to go into it too much, cos in the end, this is my journey to get through, i do have one thing to say.

i hope that with every 'step' he takes to get over me, get over us..be it the drinking or the girls..i hope he realises that even tho it makes him feel better for the moment, it just destroys the memory of what we had, bit by bit.

for god sake, have a little class. show me it wasnt all nothing, by atleast taking a little time to get over me.

bleahhhh.


:(

oh well..whatever la.

Labels: how does two years turn to this?

helllooooooooooooo. i had such a looong day todayyyy..school was alright, kiddies all havin their exams so i was busy invigilating most of the time..kinda got a bit much towards the middle of the day, and i felt abit out of sorts, but then i came home and took a breather, and then showered and went to town to ease my mind doing what i know best hahahaha

then met sallyyyy, got jas and travis a going away present and then we headed down to newton to eat dinner cos jas was completely craving local food which she is totally deprived of over there. so me and sal met up with her, travis, grace and then eli and farz came later, and then celia and zhen joined us for desserttt..we ate like sooooo much la..

and because im bored, im gonna list down exactly what we ate, just for your viewing pleasure.

fried oysters
fried carrot cake
sambal stingrayyyy
hokkien mee
popiah
sambal kangkong
chicken and mutton satay ( and we had an arguement over where mutton came from) hahahah
duck noodles
fried rice
bbq chicken wings

yeahh. and like not just one of each btw. and just like 5 of us. hahahahah plus travis la but he just ate abit of the carrot cake and then wanted his must have, dessert, which was chocolate ice kacang today hahhah omg we were sooo fulllll..but honestly, YUM.

then we did our routine camwhoring session, and then sal drove me and jas and travis home, where we chilled downstairs for abit, said goodbye and then she drove me homeeee.

good day todayyy. lovelovelove.

got a nice happy day in school tmw, but im dead tired so im gonna sleep soon, after i take a nice HOT shower with many bathfoamness and yummy scrubs.

ok laaaa...gonna go wtch tv for a tiny bitttt..see ya all soooon!

sarah i wanna see kittensssssss

ness, dinner SOOON

shina, come BACKKKK


okie byeee!

Labels: yummmmmmmmm

When I say I love you
sometimes those words don't explain
So much you do for me
Can't picture a day without your face

I'm always in a kodak moment
when you're next to me
Sometimes boy I can't breathe
Boy swear you'll never leave

My love will never change
It will always be this way
We'll always be the same
And they can't take that away
We can run away
Our love will lead the way
So we'll just let them hate
Cause they can't stop us babe

Nobody wanna see us together
But it don't matter no
Cause I got you babe
Nobody wanna see us together
But it don't matter no
Cause I got you babe
Cause we gon' fight
Oh yes we gon' fight
Believe we gon' fight
Fight for our right to love yeah
nobody wanna see us together,
but it don't matter, no.

I told my mother that
I'd be loving you til the end
And if I had to start over,
I'd do it all again

And it doesn't matter
what anyone has to say
Cause in you I can depend,
boy you are my best friend

My love will never change
It will always be this way
We'll always be the same
And they can't take that away
We can run away
Our love will lead the way
So we'll just let them hate
Cause they can't stop us babe

Labels: nivea/akon-dont matter; i guess its all just in my head again.

wow its been awhile..the past week has been abit of a blur..im trying to recall what i've been up to hahah hmmm. okkkk last wed, national days eve, we all went to o bar, and pretty much had the sameold normal time we have clubbin..it was soooo bloody packed la. cannot take it. its ridiculous la, the whole re-queues and alllll..what the hell?? shaun p came later and joined us, and then we all were supposed to go chillies till we realised we really had no energy so we decided to be good and go home. me, him, cher and ham were starvingggg so we went to this coffeeshop where ham and shaun were raving about how good the food was, but then ham wasnt feelin well so we packed our food and shaun drove us all backkk.

on thurs i chilled at home for the most bit, and then mani and shaun came to pick me up and we went to chillies for abit to drink..talked about stuff and it was nice la, i had a good time.

last fridayyyyyy..met sarah, nessa and her babyboy at harrys and had a beer there, im addicted to the platter la..its so YUM. i want moreeeeeee. then we went to chillies for a little while, then i headed over to dXo to join cher,shawn, ham and all..me and cher got a couple of drinks inside and then me and shawn joined simran and viv outside attica, where that darling bought us all a drink. then we headed home, earlyyyyyyyy!:)

sat..omg i cant rem sat... did i stay home?? think soooooo. ohh noooo! sat i went to iguana wit the girlies from crescent cos Jasie's FINALLY back. we had like many drinks and dinner there, and then i headed over to chijmes to meet shawn,ham and cher. watched the soccer match there, and then we all stayed over at shawn's place, cos the Locos' had a match the next day and the newly founded loyal supporter group (us) were going to suppporttt themmm.

so we woke up on sunday, and shawny made us a yummmmyy brekfast, i swear that boy is superbly talented, and then we went for the gameeeeeee.

they lost la, but i still think they totally kicked ass!
sunday monday tuesday blah blah blah. school as usual. kiddies havin CAs and PSLE oral exams.

i had a meeting on wednesday, and it went reallly wellllll..im pretty much ecstatic about the way things have been working out. after that, i met shawn at bugis and we went over to simran's house where i played with her new kitten! soooo cuteee laaaaaaaaa. im SO in love. then jasie picked me up in a cab and we headed over to o bar to meet sal, and do our much needed ladies night. had a blasttttt..got so freakin high, its been ages since ive gotten high with my girlies hahahah i loveee. all the stupid psychoness we are capable of man..its scary. then i got hungry, wats new, so i dragged them over to have bakutehhh. YUMMMMM.

thurs was pretty much uneventful..did some shopping..met shawn,ham and cher in town for a bit and then me and shawn headed over to novena cause we were cravinggg chicken rice..and then ragi joined us thereee. then we went over to stef's house to play with the babyyyyyyyyy:)

triston can crawl nowwwwwwwwwwww!

and he's just too damn cute la.

fridayyyyyyyy...wat did i do on fridayyyy? oh i had sumthin on till like 9pm so i came home and bummed..stayed home like the good girl that i am.

and on sat, sri came over to chill and have dinner..caught up with him for abit and then shawn picked me up and we went for mal's dance show, which was most excellent. this malini ah..never fails to amaze us la. so worth all ur practise la darling, the dance was gorgeous, i think im a new fan! then after the dance me and shawn walked over to UE square and joined the rest for kamal's bdayyyy..was pretty fun la. tooo many bottlessss. so we all drank and played tai-ti and gossiped. then we went o barrr for a while and then i headed off cos i had other plans.

and todayyyyyyyy was niceeeeee. woke up late..bummed abit..then went over to stef's house to see the babyyy..then me, her, ragi and shawn headed over to watch mal's dance again (yes, i told you already, im a new fan) hahah and then we went to cafe cartel at cityhall cos ragi's babyboy is workin there, and we had dinner there. i had my yummy blueberry cakeeee. YUM. then ham drove us to stef's place wheer we watched the soccer game and me,ragi and stef had a hulahoop competitionnnnnn hahahahha i won i won!!! hahahah oh btw, i have a video of shawn hulahooping too hahahahahah!

then mal joined us and we all headed over the Wendy's for supperrr..i tried the wendy's special prata that mal intro-ed me too and now, im addicted. :(

then i came homeeeeeeeeee...now im blogging and then im headin to bed after a nice hot shower.

i have schoooool tmwww..cant wait to see my darling kiddies.

its been an interesting week..theres alot of stuff on my mind but since its been a good week, im not gonna spoil it by thinking.

love you allllllllllllllll.

Labels: blehhhhh

There is nothing special about me
I am just a lil star
If it seems like I'm shining its probably
a reflection of something you already are
I forget about myself sometime
When there's so many others around
When deep inside it feels the darkest
That is where I can always be found
That is where I can always be found

That is where I can always be found

Just keep trying and trying
It's just a matter of timing
Though the grinding is tiring
Don't let 'em stop you from smiling
Just keep trying and trying
Sooner or later you'll find it
It's surprising how inspiring
It is to see you shining

Cause in the dark of the night you're all i can see
and you sure look like a star to me

There is nothing special about me
I am just a lil star
If you try to reach out and touch me
you'll see that I'm not really that far
oh I may not be the brightest
nor am I the last one you’ll see
But as long as you notice,
that’s just fine with me
Everything’s just fine with me

Everything’s just fine with me

Just keep trying and trying
It's just a matter of timing
Though the grinding is tiring
Don't let 'em stop you from smiling
Just keep trying and trying
Sooner or later you'll find it
It's surprising how inspiring
It is to see you shining

Cause in the dark of the night you're all i can see
and you sure look like a star to me

There is nothing special about me
I am just a lil starI’ve been running and jumping, but barely
Getting, getting over the bar
I plan on being much more than I, i am
but that's in due time
But until then I'm guilty,
and being human's my crime
Being human that is my crime
Being human that is my crime

Just keep trying and trying
It's just a matter of timing
Though the grinding is tiring
Don't let 'em stop you from smiling
Just keep trying and trying
Sooner of later you'll find it
It's surprising how inspiring
It is to see you shining
Cause in the dark of the night you're all i can see
and you sure look like a star to me

Labels: little star-kelis

ohhhh man....i found the name of the song..its 'little star' by kelis...i love..u guys have nooo idea la, im really in love with the song and yess shaun p i love youuu a littleee biiiiiit for helping me find out this song..ahhhh. im listening to it now and im goin crazy. its almost 6am and yes, im just a little star..:)


ok thats all i have to say, im jus satisfied that i have this song:)

jus keep trying...its just a matter of time.

dont let it stop u from smiling:)

there's this song i heard twice on the radio, and im in love. it sounds like lionel ritchie or sum older soul sang it but i think its by someone new..i dont remember any of the words so im going crazy cos i have absolutely no way to find out the title..ughhhhhhhh. i love the guy's voice.

marry me, whoever you are.

i misss my crazy girliesss. seriously. i miss those crescent days, the days where things were unconditional and despite everythin, we'd be there. the one on one's, the pink-nights hahahah and how to forget the girlie shopping trips. i cant wait for wed, altho im not sure im up for zouk, im definitely up for you girls, cos im in desperate need of a pickmeup and a distraction from the obvious. ten years. and u guys are still my rock. thank you all, u have no idea what the past week has been for me, but knowing you guys are there, and all the smses and lunches and silly pressies have made me smile more than ever.

i havent watched a movie in ages man. it sucks ah..thats probably the one thing i miss abt being in a relationship..watchin movies. cos everyone around me watches ALL the movies with their laus, and i obv cant do that anymore, and i cant imagine going on any movie dates with other boys anytime soon so i guess im gonna have to rely on my trusty old computer hahahaha oh welll. thats one plus point of boys yes? oooh update..babygirl jus said we might catch a show on wed b4 zouk. and without their bfs! and even jacob isnt bringin his gf. heee its exactly what i need lehh. i choose the movie ok?? i promiseeee i wont be late hahaha

i miss sec sch days la, but im so glad we are where we are. we've all grown so much, and its great to have our own lives, but still at the same time,matter enuff to wanna spend this quality time alone.

and im feelin better now, good enuff to fall asleep happily. i love you darlingsss.

i have a pretty hectic day in sch tmw, but it'll be over fast..yayyy

see you all on weddd..thurs is a holidayyy, yayyy!:D

loveloveee.

Labels: remember what it was like when you went thru this..?

ohmygawddd. my pri 6's had their preLim's listening comprehension, so i decided to be nice and give them a destressing free period at the computer lab. i thought it was a brilliant idea at first, firstly cos this class is generally well-behaved plus i myself thought i could do a little work online..buuuuuttt....the noiseeeee. they've been making SO much noiseee the past half an hour and i think im almost deaf. :( and i could scold them, like i do the other classes but they're just so excited to be relieving themselves off the stress, i dont wanna burst their tiny little book-filled bubbles. so yes, i have to put up with this for another 20 min, and then i'm homefree.

*note to self: bring earplugs tmw.

my tummy hurtssss...i dunno why leh. i hate a yum ham and lettuce sandwich for breakfast with a milo and then i got thirsty so i had a juice. which sounds pretty good right? good and healthy. so i have no idea why my stomach's complaining so much:(

met reena for lunchings on fridayyy..after like ages. we went to the prata shop near our place to eat and i had my yummy egg plaster and she had her chicken briyani which she hated. it was nice catchin up la, its like we always have to much to say hahah whens our next little lunchdate??

was supposed to go st.james on friday but i am kinda broke till pay day so i ended up going to O bar with eli and sal, for our 'bachelorette' party, where in our case, no-one's gettin married heheh. it was ssooooooooo funnn, i swear i havent laughed that much, and i think its exactly what we three girlies needed. and sal, and her omg i cat beleiev im not high rubbish hahahahhh oh, and i cant forget to mention eli's stylo tequila tribal dance. i love you girls la. we share a bond from crescent and i think its mostly cause we're all insane like no other. cant wait for the nextx time, altho i need a couple of weeks to recover from the last.

on sat i went for my hair appt wit my mum at jean yip. i went to re-touch my roots cos i absolutely HATE it whhen i can see the hair growing out...so i got it coloured the same honey brown colour, which i think im getting addicted to, even tho its boring. then i met stef,sim and carrie, and the chubby triston and we headed down to yishun's star of the sea for angelo's one year prayers..alot of people wree there. i'm sure he was too. we went to angelo's house for dinner and talked to him mum, who seems to be doing pretty well. i think she is so strong.

after that darlin shaun p drove stef and all home to drop triston and then he drove me to my place so i could change clothes and grab some stuff..cos i wasnt planning on going straight to the chalet from the prayers..he even waited patiently. thank youuu pet of the monthhh..u make me sooo proud to have nominated you!

after that he drove back to yishun where i headed over to the chalet in hammy's car with cheryl. we even went for a carwash with sajiv and all and it was most exciting hahahah aiyohhh it was a pretty good day la. at the chalet, chilled wit stef and all and mostly got to talk to alyssa and cher. we played silly never-ever games and shocked ourselves silly, and then went to scary toilets, and fed poor little skinny kittens.

not to mention drink shitloads of beer, and i mean LOADS. and ate soooo much yummy foood. it was nice seeing raine afetr agesss. hope ur doing better darling.

the only drawback was shawn havin to go to jb, and then the trip being cancelled, but when he msged me, my phone was off...so he didnt get to join us. it would've been perfect with u shawny. i misssss! think im meetin my shroomz for lunch later but im not so sure..will have to call him once i get to the staffroom.

ok la..abt time i go checkin on the kids and the nonsence their up to on their coms.

cant wait for dinner with sarah and nessa and shina this friday, i can already taste the food from manhattan.

see you all sooonnn..loveee:)

Labels: :)