oooh i cant believe the day before yesterday was so bad..as in i cant believe i was actually down, but im glad im better now. i love all my friends that have been there la, like shawny,viv, sal and eli. u guys really are darlings and i love ya all for the things you say. and of course my darlinggg sister Popo!!hahahahah mwahahah. breakups suck but i guess time heals all wounds.

i'm in the midst of reading this realllyyyy good book, "The Last Don" by Mario Puzo. its excellent. i'm so drawn in to their lives, the writing, the people, their story. and there was this one particular passage i read today that just got me thinking abit.

'for the first time she did not want to remain friends at the end of an affair. What really bothered her was her lack of intelligence. It was obvious that all his behaviour was a trick to make her go away, that it had taken her too long to get the hint. It was mortifying.How could she have been so dumb?She wept, but in a week she found she did not miss being in love at all. Her time was her own and she could work. It was a pleasure to get back to her writing with a head clear of cocaine and true love.' -mario puzo

mannn. i mean i just relate a bit to it, but at the same time, alot to it. i guess at first i didnt doubt what we had, but the way he's just let go makes me question it, and i dont like the answers i come up with.

i dont understand how love can turn to hate..i wish that people would realise that when it ends, it doesnt have to get sour, cos that just prevents us from getting closure.

cos i think we all really need closure.

oh well. this sucks but i keep telling myself that if he can do this, AGAIN, after pleading his heart out for me to give him another chance after i came back from aussie, then what the hell, i guess i just have to keep remembering that if he cared, he wouldnt hurt me like this right?

i cant believe it man..i went to aussie to clear my head and i came back happy..ready to move on with the next part of my life, and then he had that accident and he kept calling and telling me that he'd change and AGAINST MY BETTER JUDGEMENT i decided to give it a go. and it all happenes again, like a vicious cycle that never stops.

whats that saying? a leopard doesnt change it's spots? oh yes,i believe now.

i want contact.
after two years, is that too much to ask?

Labels: how long are we talking about?