Sometimes the worst nightmares are the ones where you are awake. You're constantly grappling with these demons who haunt you in your dreams yet in the daylight, they take the form of people you know. So unlike a nightmare, where you can run screaming in the opposite direction, in real life you need to take a good look around and figure out who your monsters are first.


And then you can start running.


My recurring nightmare is the one where I seem to meet someone who amidst all the other boys, takes my breath away just a little bit. I can't explain it, it's not even really anything that happens between us but maybe just this simple familiarity that you have from the start with only very few? And then before my eyes the monsters come and they drag that person away kicking and screaming.


And then he looks back and starts screaming because suddenly, I am his monster.


I hate that dream. It's happened a few times, and each time the lead up gets briefer but it leaves me feeling a little more unsettled than before.


But if there's one thing I value, it's integrity. People without integrity lie low with the demons that torment us and I truly wish that more people would have the guts to say what's on their mind. 
If you feel a certain away or you make a decision, have the decency to own it. Because otherwise, we will all slowly slip away and it's never easy to come back.


Closure is underrated. Even one minute men should know that.

Labels: my worst nightmare